Posted by: rebeccajrobare | July 15, 2013

Stumbling Blocks

I’m laughing at myself tonight; having spent the time to figure out how to do this from my phone, when faced with the blank screen I suddenly don’t know what to write.
I don’t have this problem, much, at work. The anxiety provoked by the blank page is quickly replaced by certainty. At work, my writing tasks tend to be concrete, finite, and highly specific. Free-writing, by contrast, has become too open-ended. It reminds me of days and nights spent with computer and notebook, trying to produce my dissertation. I succeeded in that, but creative writing seems to have been something of a casualty, something I seem to need a very relaxed state to do. My creative impulses have been better served with crafts lately, and I’m enjoying that. But I miss writing.
It’s not all gone, of course; one can see that from the contents of this blog. (And I do have an update of “The Prince,” by the way, with a much stronger beginning.) But I thought all day about a story about a Healers’ Temple, and what a society might be like that honored sickness in a way ours does not, and I find myself fearful to get started on it. What if it’s not good enough? Of course, the response is, good enough for what? The only places it will go are on to my hard drive or in this blog. If the former, I’m the only one who will ever see it – I could delete it if I wanted to. And if on the blog, well, no one is forced to read it, and if I should go back to writing as my whole profession, I can put the fiction bits in their own little section where they won’t trouble anyone looking for a science writer.
So, I am succeeding in talking myself into it, I think. At least, that is something of the point of this exercise, this writing about writing. And I think writing about sickness and healing is a nice recovery-type thing to do as well, so perhaps it will be good for me in other ways.

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